


We Were Meant to Say Goodbye

by bokuru



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Banana Fish AU Week 2020, M/M, banana fish anime - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuru/pseuds/bokuru
Summary: A Japanese medical student at a hospital in Manhattan, New York, Eiji meets an amusing patient that he must take care of.EDIT 12/25/20: I've realized that the relationship between a nurse and a patient must remain professional, and although it is only fiction, I will be making a few changes to the story. They are not major, as the way their relationship grows and the ending will remain the same, but I want this to be as realistic as I possibly can make it. Unfortunately, they will not kiss; however Ash will STILL confess his love to Eiji either way. btw, thanks for the kudos! love u all <3
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	We Were Meant to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is an AU I've been thinking about for a while now. It's probably not very good, since I've never really written (good) fanfiction before, but here's my shot at it. Enjoy!
> 
> Also yes, the title is based off the song Already Gone by Sleeping At Last. It's a great song, please listen to it.

Eiji walked through the hallway of the hospital, listening to the silence of the sleeping patients behind the closed room doors. The hospital gave off a nostalgic vibe and a cold, yet familiar smell, although he'd only been training there for a couple of months now. He'd gotten the hang of his medical studies and was doing pretty well; however, it didn't make him any less homesick. New York was amazing, really, but it was quite... big, a lot bigger than his hometown back in Japan.

He was now 23, studying at a hospital that seemed pretty large and prestigious, full of many doctors of different specialties. It was his dream as a kid to become a doctor, to help those in need, as he loved taking care of people when he was young. He liked seeing them healthy and whole.

He was checking on another patient to see if they needed anything before a sudden shout rang throughout the entire hospital.

When he looked out, something grazed his cheek, startling him. It took him a few moments to realize it'd been a patient, clothed in a hospital gown and slippers and nothing else, had ran out of the hospital at full speed. Doctors were right behind him but took a few heavy breaths before they retreated and picked up the phone to call for backup.

Eiji walked over to the front desk. "What's going on?"

The receptionist looked up at him, and laughed nervously. "Oh, it's nothing," she sighed, "just another patient on the loose. Don't worry about it though, he always does that. He'll be back with some of the paramedics, so it's nothing to be concerned about."

"Uh, if you want, I can go... get him?"

She looked at him doubtfully and shrugged. "Go for it. He's incredibly fast for a CF patient, so try and keep up with him if you can."

Before he could ask about the patient's condition to see if he heard it right, the doctors return with the boy, his blonde hair covering his guilty eyes as he gets dragged along the smooth floors of the hospital. Eiji holds back laughter, widely visible, which results in receiving a glare from the patient before getting thrown back into his room.

Some strange teen, he was, with no respect at all.

* * *

"A new patient, you say?"

"Yeah," Eiji answered as he took a bite into his sandwich. "Some blondie. He's really thin, pale, and fast as heck. You should've seen him running this morning."

Sing laughed through the phone; a hearty laugh, as Eiji would say. "You wouldn't be speaking of Ash Lynx, would you?"

"How do you know?"

"He's pretty hella famous in New York, y'know. He's a 20-year-old gangster, the best gangster there is. But after getting diagnosed with something, he took a hiatus and put some other member in charge of the gang." A loud slurp was heard from the other side of the call, perhaps from another Slurpee. "Wonder how they're doing without their tiger. He's pretty fierce, and is always willing to pick a fight with whoever, so be careful."

"Too late. He gave me the death glare this morning."

Sing laughed again. "He could be on to you, man. Don't mess with him. By the way, could you get some souvenirs for me? I've always wanted to go to New York."

"Sure," Eiji replied, and the call ended there.

After taking a sharp look at the patient's profile, Eiji peeked into his room as quietly as he could, trying not to disturb the patient. He was just laying there; his head was turned towards the huge window that showed the great heights of New York; even the statue could be seen from here, her arm being raised high into the sky to hold up her torch. His breathing sounded a bit raspy, as his chest was heaving out great sighs, and from time to time he'd hold his arm up to his mouth to cover some coughs. Bandages slipped from his wrist to show off a couple of wounds that were still in recovery. The boy seemed to be at peace by himself.

He took a small step forward, and the boy's head whipped to the other side, a stern expression on his face. "What do you want?" he snapped angrily.

Eiji's ears turned a bright red and turned to exit the room as fast as he could. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to disturb you. I-I'll leave---" He ended up bumping his head against the door, and hissed in pain.

A sudden burst of laughter came from behind him, and when Eiji had turned around, the boy was laughing, but it slowly turned into coughing and wheezing.

"Is... is it that funny?" he asked shyly, sitting down and organizing the papers until the patient cooled down.

Ash wiped his eyes while coughing, adjusting the cannula before turning to look at Eiji with the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. "What's your name, man? You're funny."

Reluctantly, Eiji answered, "Eiji. Okumura Eiji."

"Nice to meet you. You from around here?"

Eiji shook his head. "I am from Japan."

"I see. Your English is really good."

He smiled at him, and took a quick glance at Ash's profile. "Your name is Aslan Callenreese? Right?"

"Just call me Ash," Ash said, "Ash Lynx. I'm pretty boring when in the hospital though, so you're probably going to get bored of me."

Eiji's eyes widened, and he waved his hand in front of him. "No, no! You're not boring! You're funny, too! You running out was surprising. And when you looked at me, I felt like laughing..." He chuckled and Ash stared at him in amazement before moving on. "You are also nice. Great person."

Most likely out of embarrassment, Ash looked away as his pale ears slowly turned pink.

The door slammed open, causing the both of them to jump, but Ash to break out in coughs and wheezes to the point Eiji had to calm him down.

A man with a funny-looking purple mohawk and sunglasses entered the room. "You dumb bitch!" He shouted the insult and grabbed Ash by the collar, startling Eiji to the point where all he could do was watch. "Is this funny to you?"

Too weak to remove the man's strong grip, Ash turned his head towards the window again, refusing to make eye contact. "What do you know? You only visit once a month, anyway."

Eiji opened his mouth to say something but the man eventually releases his hand from Ash's gown and sighed. "Seriously? Are you that fixed on leaving the fucking hospital?"

"Just leave, man. I'm fine."

The mohawk man looked like he wanted to argue with that statement, but he closed his mouth and narrowed his eyebrows upon Eiji, looking him up and down before leaving the room. After that, the atmosphere became tense and awkward, with moments of silence following for the next couple minutes. Eiji was the one to break the silence.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "Who was that guy?"

He didn't answer at first, but Ash eventually whispered an answer. "A buddy of mine."

"I see." Eiji fiddled with his hands before slowly getting up, but Ash quickly grabbed Eiji's wrist and forced him back down.

"Could you stay a little while longer?"

Eiji was shocked at the sudden request, but obediently stayed in his seat. Once Ash had fallen asleep, he left the room to give an update on Ash's status and condition. He realized that Ash's breathing started getting heavier when that man had walked in; he must have really surprised him.

"Hey, you."

Speak of the devil.

Eiji turned around to face the man with the fancy purple mohawk and dark sunglasses, so dark to the point he couldn't even see his eyes. "Yes?"

"Could we have a chat?" he asked. His eyebrows were still narrowed, and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

Eiji gave off another genuine smile. "Sure," he said, and followed the mohawk man to the hospital garden in the back.

"Ash is a really strong guy," the man began before they even got through the yard. "He's been through a lot, but he's still here. He takes care of us, but never himself; it's always us before him no matter what."

"Yeah," Eiji responded, "I know. And he doesn't even seem like a mean guy. He's tough, but I learned that he likes small things."

The man whipped his head to Eiji, and he jumped a little. "How do you know about that?"

"Um... he told me. Before he fell asleep."

The man looked at Eiji in disbelief and burst out chuckling and nodding his head with what looked like a sad smile. "Yeah. He does. But you know what else is pretty funny? C'mere." He leaned in to Eiji's ear, and Eiji listened in.

The man's whisper contained a humorous laugh.

"He's scared of pumpkins!"

"Pumpkins?" Eiji jumped again, but in disbelief this time, trying to hold back his own laughter as the mohawk man threw his head back and cackled. "Why pumpkins?" he asked once the man calmed down.

The man shook his head as he brushed his hair with his fingers. He took off his sunglasses, revealing a beautiful set of dark brown eyes. "I don't know myself," he retorted. "He didn't tell me even that, but I just know for a fact that that's his biggest fear. Out of all things, it's pumpkins." They both walked up to a vending machine and got a soda, Eiji popping it open with ease and guzzling it down with a refreshing sigh. "And so, he absolutely hates Halloween."

The thought of Ash cowering away from a hoard of pumpkins wanted to make Eiji laugh and laugh until his stomach exploded.

"Oh, I haven't introduced myself, have I?" he put his sunglasses back on and finished his soda within a few seconds. "My name's Shorter. I'm Ash's friend of about 6 years."

Eiji, finally able to get a word in, nodded and shook Shorter's hand. "My name is Eiji. Eiji Okumura."

"Hey, you have that heavy Japanese accent, but your English is pretty good!"

"Thank you."

Eiji took a glance at Shorter's watch, and drank the rest of his soda before running off. _Crap, I'd completely forgotten about the exams later on today._ "I'll see you again, Shorter!"

Shorter waved at Eiji, and looked up at the sky with a frivolous grin.

"Fuck you, Ash."

* * *

After studying Ash's behavior whenever he was with Eiji for about two weeks or so, Eiji had been put in charge of supervising and taking care of Ash (including preventing Ash from leaving the hospital, as to Shorter's will). Eiji looked forward to the job; although he couldn't get within six feet, staying by Ash's side was all that mattered. He ate lunch with Ash, talked with Ash, and even sang Ash a few songs before he would fall asleep.

First thing Eiji did was check on Ash's condition with a couple of CF experts by his side, secretly since Ash didn't really like the other doctors or medical experts in the hospital other than Eiji.

"His condition is fine now, but it could slightly worsen in a few months," one of them had told Eiji as Ash took a nice, long nap after lunch, "but time will tell. As for now, continue the rule of staying six feet apart from each other. We will keep you updated every week."

Eiji thanked them for the information, looking back at Ash hopefully. He knew there was no cure for cystic fibrosis, only treatment, and death would eventually follow. But he knew Ash was strong. Ash wouldn't give up that easily, he knew.

"Eiji."

Eiji had flinched by suddenly hearing his name out of nowhere. He'd gone off in a daze, and now Ash was staring intently at him, his eyes unmoving from Eiji's. "Yes, Ash?" he asked.

"Take me to Japan someday."

Eiji paused and looked at the boy.

Ash was no longer looking at Eiji. He was staring at the floor now, with a sad look on his face, but he smiled. "I haven't really been anywhere other than just boring old New York, and I've always wondered what it was like in other countries... so I've wanted to go to Japan since I was a little kid. Take me there someday, okay? Don't forget. Or maybe even take me there as a birthday present."

"Alright," Eiji replied with a smile, "I will. When's your birthday?"

"August 12," Ash said, smiling back at Eiji.

"Then August 12 it is. And by the way, there aren't many gangs in Japan, so you won't have to arm yourself. Don't bother bringing any weapons, just relax when we get there."

Ash's face had suddenly shifted, and his eyebrows were raised. "Really?"

"Mhm."

Ash nodded at the new information he'd received. "Well then, Japan certainly isn't like America, huh?" He snorted, looking back outside the window. "There's not a whole lot of gangs in the entire country, but there's plenty in New York, that's for sure." With a series of short coughs, he reached for something under the hospital bed, and took out a jean jacket to reveal a revolver in it. Ash held it up, eyes gleaming with pride, and held it out to Eiji. "This is a Smith & Wesson Model 27 revolver, one custom and specially made for me by one of my friends. He's real handy at it, and because we're pretty close buddies, he always makes mine for free. The same revolver every time."

A gasp escaped Eiji's lips as the revolver landed in his two palms. As if holding a small animal, he was too scared to even move, yet he slowly turned it over and examined the revolver. It was quite heavy; in all the movies he's watched, it seemed like they were pretty light.

"Whoa," Eiji laughed. "It's so heavy! There aren't many guns in Japan, either. I've never held one before."

"I guess it's good that someone like you has never held a gun before," Ash noted, "but Japan seems really safe, with all those gun limitations and everything. Safer than New York, at least." Eiji carefully leaned toward the hospital bed to give the gun back to Ash.

They shifted from a conversation on guns to random topics, and before either of them knew it, it'd gotten dark, which was Eiji's cue to return to his dorm and hit the hay for the night. He hadn't realized until one of the doctors had come over to see if everyone had gone to sleep.

"You guys are still talking?" the doctor asked, pointing at the clock. "It's almost midnight. Get going, Dr. Okumura."

With a sigh, Eiji got up obediently, and headed for the door before Ash grinned and said, "Remember to take me to Japan. Book two flights. Nine months away."

* * *

At 5 in the morning, a loud message had woken Eiji up from his beauty sleep. He leaned over with sleepy eyes, turned down the blinding brightness on his phone, and read the number out loud.

**[XXX-XXX-XXXX: hey, are you sleeping?]**

**[EIJI: who are you?]**

**[XXX-XXX-XXXX: it's ash]**

Ash?

Ohhhh. Ash.

Before responding to the message, Eiji added Ash to his contact lists with a groggy smile.

**[EIJI: how'd you get my number?]**

**[ASH: asked one of the doctors lol]**

**[EIJI: why aren't you asleep?]**

It took a while for Ash to type the next message, which left Eiji wondering if Ash had fallen asleep while typing. He was falling asleep himself before the _DING!_ woke him back up.

**[ASH: my coughing woke me up. couldn't breathe for awhile]**

**[EIJI: want me to come over?]**

**[ASH: nah it's ok i'm not coughing anymore]**

**[ASH: anyways good night :)]**

Eiji grinned from that last message, and felt exactly like that smiley emoji. He sent another message, but in Japanese.

**[EIJI:** **おやすみ]**

**[ASH: what does that mean?]**

**[EIJI: it means "good night" in Japanese]**

**[ASH: omg japanese lessons with Eiji!!1!11!1!]**

He laughed quietly, making sure he wasn't disturbing his roommate, and turned over to his other side.

**[EIJI: what else do you want to learn :) ?]**

**[ASH: hmm just teach me some basic sayings i guess, to save it for when i go to japan ;D]**

**[EIJI: ok uhh so how you say "hello" in Japanese is こんにちは, pronounced like this]**

Shyly, Eiji whispered the word and sent the voice message to Ash. Ash had read it but didn't respond for a couple of seconds.

**[ASH: Voice Message]**

_"Konnichiwa._ Like this?"

The sudden Japanese coming from him made Eiji's heart flutter in an unknowingly satisfied way. It made him happy just to hear Ash's sleepy voice, something he doesn't really hear, since Ash is always quiet when he falls asleep.

**[EIJI: yeah! and this is goodbye, spelled さようなら]**

**[EIJI: Voice Message]**

The voice messages Eiji were sending were slow, so that Ash could come to learn to pronounce them. He'd send it syllable by syllable, and Ash would repeat it also, but a little faster to make sure he was getting used to saying them. This one, however, took the longest, taking about five minutes to send another voice message. Eiji had fallen asleep without realizing, and the notification woke him once again.

**[ASH: Voice Message]**

"Sa. Yo. Na. Ra."

Ash's sleepy voice was something Eiji had realized he enjoyed hearing.

**[EIJI: that's really good! your pronunciation is great for a foreigner ^-^]**

**[ASH: really?]**

**[ASH: ありがとう]**

**[EIJI: try saying that]**

**[ASH: Voice Message]**

And as they continued working on Japanese lessons with Eiji, the sun rose to a beautiful mix of pink, yellow, and blue.

* * *

December had arrived, and snow was already falling by the second week. Ash was prohibited from going out due to the cold weather, but he at least enjoyed watching the snow. Winter exams were also over, leaving Eiji more free time to visit Ash.

"Why don't you come over and say hi to him?" It was 7 am, and Eiji had been late to his classes, but was calling Sing on the way to his classroom. "He's a lot nicer than you think. You two would get along just fine, since you both are quite short-tempered yourselves."

"Are you kidding?" Sing yelled on the other side of the phone. "I ain't meeting a gangster, no matter how awesome it'd be."

Eiji chuckled. "Alright, if you say so."

As he walked through the hallway where Ash's room waited, he realized the door was open, and voices were heard inside. Doctors were surrounding Ash, who didn't look too good, unlike yesterday. Eiji couldn't really make out what they were saying to him when they realized he'd arrived; his attention was completely concentrated on Ash.

Yesterday, just less than twenty-four hours ago, Ash was looking brighter than ever. His skin was literally glowing, he was nice and plump from the snacks and meals provided by the hospital staff (and some bento boxes Eiji would make for him), and he was wearing a smile all day. Today, however, was completely different. Ash looked skinnier than before; his arms were definitely thinner than they used to be, and his face had gotten quite thin as well. His skin looked a bit dull.

"Dr. Okumura?" a voice called out.

Eiji looked at the doctor in response as he slowly began taking off his coat and scarf.

"Four months."

Four months.

It wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough, he wanted to yell, but he couldn't, because yelling wouldn't change a thing. It wouldn't extend Ash's life no matter how loud he yelled.

He remained silent, only replying with a simple nod, and the doctors leaving once he put on his white, crisp coat.

"How are you feeling?"

Ash's question had come out of nowhere, and Eiji forced a smile. "Well, I could be asking you the same thing. Are you feeling alright? Is there anything wrong?"

Ash, who had been looking out the window since the moment Eiji walked into the room, finally turned towards the short black-haired boy. Eiji hadn't noticed before; he'd never looked this deep into Ash's eyes; his pupils were a lovely shade of jade green. They were beautiful. Eiji suddenly thought about what Ash had been like before being diagnosed or showing any symptoms of cystic fibrosis; what had he been through? He wanted to know more. He wanted to become close to him.

It occurred to Eiji at that moment that he did not know Ash very well despite all the time they've spent together. All they did was have conversations about silly things and make random, corny jokes, but Ash never really talked about himself.

He really is a mystery.

* * *

As time went on, Eiji noticed Ash's condition was worsening by the month, to the week, to the day. The treatment Eiji had been using since the first time he supervised Ash was no longer as effective, and without his nasal cannula, his lungs wouldn't hold out for lung before he broke out in coughs and was short of breath.

Two months had passed, and Ash still wasn't getting better.

_Two months._

"Eiji," Ash mumbled to the hardworking boy, "can I go outside?"

"The weather's too cold for you," he answered with a sigh, "so I can't unless I get the professor's permission."

Ash sighed as well. "It could really help with my condition, you know. I want some fresh air. Or at least open the window, maybe."

That, he knew for sure, he could do. Eiji opened the window to be hit with an icy blast of air, filling his nose as he inhaled and leaving as he exhaled. He glanced at Ash to find him smiling without the nasal cannula. His eyes were closed, his blonde eyelashes dancing in the breeze in a different rhythm as his hair; he looked more relaxed than he had in the past couple weeks. Eiji didn't say a word and this silence continued for a while, listening to the faint music coming from another patient's room from downstairs. This was it, Eiji thought, this was what he wanted.

"Ash," Eiji said in a soft voice. "Are you awake?"

Without opening his eyes, he answered, "Yeah. Why?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

When Ash opened his eyes, the two made eye contact unintentionally, and no one broke the gaze until they both broke out laughing. Calming down, Ash said, "To be able to go outside again and hang out with the crew."

"I would do that for you if I were a genie. Sadly, I'm not."

"Then I'm not really sure. I've never really wanted anything other than what I have now. What? Are you going to buy me a Christmas present or something?"

Eiji shifted his body towards Ash and smiled. "Of course. I'd be crazy if I didn't."

Ash smiled back and sat straight up, rejecting Eiji's help. "Mind if I buy _you_ something, then?" he asked. "What do you want for Christmas?"

Shrugging, Eiji closed the window and felt the warm breeze breathe upon his shoulders. "I don't know either," he said. "It's hard to think of something right on the spot."

"Take your time, Christmas is in two weeks."

"How are you going to get me a present without leaving the hospital?"

"Fetch one of the doctors to bring me my delivery."

They both laughed, and Eiji looked out the window, knowing that there was only another month to go.

Ash, who had been trying his best to smile lately, was gradually getting worse and worse. He couldn't hold a short conversation with Eiji, and his coughing could be heard from Eiji's dorm, the first room of the apartment. It was shown in his personal record that he did have asthma, which definitely didn't help with his condition; he would have asthma attacks so serious he'd often pass out. Eiji knew that by the time New Year's would come, Ash would no longer be there with him to celebrate.

Eiji sat down next to the sleeping Ash in silence. He checked the boy's heart monitor, his pulse, listened to his heartbeat, and began humming a Japanese lullaby he'd been sung to as a kid.

He cleared his throat and asked softly, "Ash, do you want me to get anything for you?"

He'd been sure Ash was asleep, but the boy was wide awake this entire time. "Uh, yeah, I did request for someone to go fetch my stuff from the bar, but I never got it." Ash scoffed. "Shitheads were probably too scared to do it."

Ash's physical stamina was weak, but his mouth was running quicker than ever. "Should I go get it for you?" Eiji offered.

Ash opened his eyes and nodded. "It would be useless to now," he replied, "but I'd like that, I guess."

The second Eiji had entered the bar, loud yelling and laughing could be heard. The bar wasn't that big, considering it was underground; but it looked quite cozy, despite all the men causing a ruckus. Some were sitting at the counter, having drinks and telling each other humorous stories while drunk, and others were playing pool by the corner of the room. A few were also passed out on the couch next to Eiji, letting out occasional snores and talking in their sleep. It wasn't sanitary, yet they seemed to make the place look comfortable, and maybe welcoming.

But when Eiji walked into the room, the men stopped what they were doing, and turned to look at him. Eiji gulped nervously. Their smiles were friendly. Their resting bitch faces were not. Everywhere Eiji looked, an intimidating expression would be staring at him, most likely wondering, "Who is this young Japanese boy?"

Eiji felt his body tense up as someone big started walking toward him. He had dark skin, sunglasses almost similar to Shorter's, and a flat top and a jean jacket. 

"Who are you?" he boomed in a loud, deep voice, but before Eiji could answer, his body relaxed when Shorter appeared.

"Eiji?" Shorter said in surprise, and grinned. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to take Ash's belongings. Where are they?"

"Oh, give me a sec. I had them all packed over here."

Shorter disappeared once again, leaving Eiji alone with the gang members still staring intensely at him. It wasn't long before Shorter returned; to Eiji, it felt like hours. Were they all a part of Ash's gang?

Eiji entered Ash's room while hugging the items close to his chest. "I'm back!"

Ash whipped his head around to look at Eiji. "Is that all of it?" he said.

Eiji shrugged and sat down as he helped Ash put the belongings in the places where he wanted it. "I don't know," he sighed, "Shorter just gave these to me. By the way, is everyone at the bar a part of your gang?"

Ash shook his head in response. "Cain often visits there, though. Have you seen him?"

"What's he look like?"

Ash puffed out his chest as an attempt to try and look bigger and sat up straight. "He's huge," he explained. "Flat top, sunglasses, always wearing a ripped jean jacket that he never even bothers to wash."

"Oh!" Eiji exclaimed. "Yeah, I've seen him. He looked really scary."

Ash raised an eyebrow at him in surprise. "Cain? Scary?" Laughing, he continued, "Cain isn't scary once you get to know him. Though, his appearances are quite nerving, I guess. And he _is_ a tough cookie, so don't even think about messing with him."

Eiji laughed along with Ash and blurted out, "You know what? He's just like you."

Silence sat between them for a quick moment before Ash let out a "Huh?" His ears had turned a bright red, and both of his eyebrows were raised now.

"Oh, well, what I mean is that you both look scary at first, but once I started talking to you, you're not as mean as I thought you'd be." Ash opened his mouth to say something, but Eiji smiled real big and kept going. "How was I supposed to know that you liked small, cute things, or that you were afraid of pumpkins?"

The pumpkins is what made him burst out laughing, and flashbacks of the conversation they had at lunchtime suddenly came rushing back to the both of them. Ash was babbling about himself after Eiji had requested that he tell him more about himself, and even exposed his silly fear of pumpkins because of a "childhood trauma" on Halloween, hence the holiday becoming his least favorite day.

At this point, Ash's entire face had gone pink, and he pretended to sulk. He crossed his arms and pouted. "Come on! I don't like pumpkins, alright?" he hissed, but a goofy smile sprouted upon his face as Eiji kept laughing hysterically.

"Pumpkins," Eiji chuckled as Ash was coughing again, "pumpkins. I'll give you a pumpkin on Christmas."

"If you do, I'll fucking kill you."

* * *

This was Eiji's first Christmas spending it with someone else other than his family. He wanted to make it, but he couldn't because of his plans with his new friend, but also because many flights were cancelled due to heavy snowstorms that would follow for Christmas to New Year's. He was excited; Sing had helped him choose a present for Ash after telling him what he liked and what he didn't like, and even prepared some cookies for him. One was different from the others: it was a pumpkin hidden at the bottom of the cookie box. It wasn't easy, trying to contain his excitement for one day; he'd been looking forward to this plan for a while now, and it was now Christmas Eve. Ash had probably noticed Eiji's enthusiasm for something.

Eiji woke himself up at 3 in the morning on the special day and grabbed his stuff to run over to the apartment where the patients are. He ran through the halls which were nearly empty because of the time he'd waken, and prayed that Ash would not mind being woken up earlier than he usually does.

Coughing was heard from both inside and outside of Ash's room, the sounds made by both boys, and Eiji quietly opened the door and snuck inside.

Good. Ash was still sleeping, which was enough time for Eiji to decorate his room.

First, Eiji started with some Christmas lights, making sure it looked perfect as it was being hung up. Ash didn't really like bright things, so he had to choose dim lights, but either way, they were still really pretty. Since Ash enjoyed tiny things, he'd prepared a small present: a teddy bear with the collar carved in "ASH LYNX." The present wasn't big, nor very special as Eiji thought, which he felt disappointed in himself for, but was still content as long as Ash was okay with it.

At 5 AM, everything was finished. The window was slightly open so that Ash could breathe better; some stickers were plastered over it, and the lights were blinking beautifully. Ornaments hung from the tree plant Ash had on his windowsill. A stocking with Ash's initial was hanging from the edge of the bed. Even his IV had red ribbons around it, which was Eiji and other doctors' attempts to make it look like a candy cane.

"As you know, Christmas is an extremely special day for everyone, for doctors, staff, and patients," his professor had told him and the other doctors a week before. "We like to decorate the entire hospital with wonderful Christmas decorations. It's always a joy to see patients happy, and we also send off our doctors home to our families for some rest. Although this tradition is a beautiful thing, does anyone have any suggestions?"

Eiji's suggestion was the one everyone most agreed on, and he already found someone who'd volunteer for the job.

"All done?" a voice whispered from the doorway.

Eiji turned around and nodded. "All good. Thanks, Sing."

* * *

"Merry Christmas!"

Everyone who was awake was given a goodie bag, a warm hug, and a "Ho-Ho-Ho" from the hospital's new Santa Sing, whom was appreciated by everyone, specially the children. He'd dressed himself in a Santa costume and a fuzzy white beard, and no one seemed to care that Santa was shorter than all the adults in the building.

Eiji walked back into Ash's room, where Ash had waken up from the joyful laughs from several rooms down. He was holding something under his jacket, and an ambitious grin was sticking to his face. "What's that noise?" Ash coughed as Eiji sat down next to him. "They're too loud. Tell them to shut up or something."

Eiji narrowed his eyebrows and gently whacked Ash on the back of the head. "It's Christmas, idiot," he said.

"Christmas?" Ash's eyes widened and, breathing heavily from hyperventilation, rushed to the window. He opened it farther than Eiji would recommend, but he didn't interfere, as Ash looked outside and watched the snow falling down, down, down to the ground. Eiji stood next to Ash and followed Ash's gaze to find a few kids and a patient building a snowman, and giving the snowman a parka and a winter hat.

Ash had turned to Eiji with a smile, his eyes wide and happy. "It's Christmas!"

The door burst open, and a loud "Ho-Ho-Ho!" was right behind them. When they turned around, they had to look down a little bit, at the short Santa in front of them.

"Sing!" Eiji blurted out, and hugged him. "How is it, being Santa?"

Sing winked and replied in Chinese, "Good!" He glanced at Ash, who seemed unamused, yet startled at the sight. "And you must be Ash Lynx, huh?" He spoke in fluent English and lent out a hand, which surprised Ash even more. "Nice to meet you. I'm Sing Soo-ling. A big fan from China, and Eiji's friend from Japan."

Ash coughed into his elbow and backed away from Sing without saying anything. He sat back down in his bed, awkwardly watching the snow again.

"He has cystic fibrosis," Eiji informed him. "You have to stay at least six feet apart from him. I'll give him the goodie bag though, thanks."

"I wouldn't have hugged him anyway," Sing huffed.

Eiji smiled at that, and whacked Sing on the back of the head too, causing the big hat to fall down on his eyes. They both had a good laugh, and Sing left to go to the next room. Another "Ho-Ho-Ho" echoed next door.

Ash didn't look as bright as he was just a couple of minutes ago. He was slightly frowning now, but his eyes were still sparkling. Eiji scooted closer to Ash and handed him the goodie bag, in which he looked down at it and then at Eiji.

"Take it."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"What're you so stubborn for? The hospital prepared it for you. At least you didn't get coal."

"Maybe I was better off with coal."

"Just shut up and take it."

And of course, he ended up taking it. He rummaged inside and laid out on his bed some colored pencils, Rice Krispies, small Haikyuu figurines, and a card with the words "Merry Christmas" on it, written in script. He ate the Rice Krispies without complaint, and kept staring out the window, all while Eiji was watching.

Eiji was trying hard not to laugh. Ash was eating the snacks without a word, but his expression was saying it all --- he did not enjoy the gift.

"I guess the Rice Krispies don't taste as good, huh?" he asked, and Ash glanced at him and didn't say anything, but forced an ugly smile.

Eiji grinned, his chest feeling warm, and suddenly remembering to give Ash his present. He reached under Ash's bed and picked out the blue box decorated in ---

"What kind of shitty wrapping paper is this?" Ash roared, looking at the gift box in disgust. It was covered in bright orange pumpkins, with huge creepy smiles on their faces. It was Halloween designed, and Eiji had prepared it specially for Ash. Not to mention that he'd made the wrapping paper himself digitally, and just copied and pasted the pumpkins everywhere, but each having its different hat. One had Ash's face next to it.

Because of Ash's glare, Eiji immediately broke out, laughing as he handed the box to him. "Merry Christmas, Ash," he said once he calmed down. "I made the wrapping paper especially for you. Hope you like it."

Hesitantly, Ash took the box and opened it. His expression relaxed when he saw everything that was inside. It was full of Eiji's homemade cookies that he had already shoved into his mouth (even though he was full from eating the Rice Krispies alone), a little brown teddy bear with Ash's real name: Aslan on it, a cute card that was probably meant for a 5-year-old girl's birthday, and sunflowers. The prettiest sunflowers he'd ever seen. Their petals were a vivacious and vibrant yellow, and the disc flowers were a lovely hazel-brown color. He knew, somehow. Eiji knew that Ash's favorite kind of flower was a sunflower. From the utter shock and nostalgia he'd felt, he didn't say anything; he only caressed the flower and realized it was real.

"I've never seen a real sunflower before," he murmured.

"Read the card."

"Oh, that's my card? Thought that was supposed to be for the little girl next door."

Eiji punched him lightly, and Ash chuckled. He began reading.

" ** _Dear Ash,_**

**_Ash —_ **   
**_I’m worried to death because I haven’t been able to see you doing well._ **

**_You said we live in different worlds. But is that true?_ **   
**_We have different colored skin and eyes. We were born in different countries._ **   
**_But we’re friends. Isn’t that what counts?_ **

**_I’m really glad I came to America. I met lots of people._ **   
**_And more than anything, I met you._ **

**_You asked me over and over if you scared me. But I never feared you, not once._ **   
**_What’s more is you’re hurt much more than me. I couldn’t help feeling that way._ **   
**_Funny, huh?_ **

**_You’re way smarter, bigger, and stronger than me. But I always felt like I had to protect you. I wonder what it is I wanted to protect you from._ **   
**_I wanted to protect you from fate._ **   
**_The fate that tries to carry you away, drifting futher and futher._ **

**_You told me once about a leopard you read in a book. How you believed that leopard knew that it couldn’t go back._ **   
**_And I said you weren’t a leopard, that you could change your destiny._ **

**_You’re not alone. I’m by your side._ **   
**_My soul is always with you._ **

**_— Eiji Okumura_** "

Eiji's cheeks were hurting from smiling, but he couldn't stop. Ash was clearly happy, and so was he, and that was all that mattered. "Merry Christmas, Ash," he repeated softly.

"Merry Christ---" Ash couldn't finish his sentence. As he was putting the sunflower back in the box and turned to thank Eiji properly, perhaps even use the new Japanese term he'd learned (thank you), Eiji had hugged him there on the spot.

Eiji found that although Ash seemed warm and comfortable, he was frail and delicate. The first time he'd checked his body from around the first time they'd met, he was a healthy, plump boy where he still had his baby face. However, now, his skin was dull and a lot more pale than before, and you could feel his ribcage. His blonde hair had even lost its color, but his warmth was definitely still there. It saddened him how Ash doesn't have much time left; he didn't want Ash to leave yet, but he hated seeing him in pain, suffering as he struggled to live, and knew he didn't deserve this --- but he'd have to say goodbye soon either way. It was too late.

He snapped backwards, causing Ash to wobble a bit. Eiji had turned red and kept his head low. "Sorry," he mumbled, "I forgot."

"It's okay. You didn't hurt me or---"

Ash started coughing again, and Eiji whipped his head to face him, but Ash held a finger up to Eiji's face to stop him. "It's okay, I said," Ash choked out, and cleared his throat. "Don't worry about it. Thanks for the gift." He smiled, but Eiji wasn't sure if it was genuine or not.

All he did was nod and smile back, thinking about the next couple days.

* * *

DECEMBER 27, 8:36 AM

It was 4 days until new year's, and Eiji wasn't confident in Ash making it to the new year. He wanted to celebrate with him, since it was his first new year's celebration without his family, but Ash would stop speaking or wouldn't be able to hold proper conversations anymore due to his lungs falling out on him. It worried him greatly, but the only thing Ash could tell him was,

"Don't worry about me."

How could he not?

Eiji was quite busy today, so another doctor had to be in Ash's care. He majored in pediatrics and had finally become a pediatrician, since he found kids adorable; he has always thought about having kids since he was younger, but he was not too sure now. He wanted to focus on helping other people out first.

He sat in the lounge getting coffee when Max Lobo, a cardiologist from Canada, came over and patted Eiji on the back.

"You're the one taking care of Ash, right?" he asked in a low voice.

When Eiji turned to him, he had a grim look on his face. "Yes," he replied. "Why?"

Max looked around and cleared his throat, then leaned in. "He's not going to make it past New Year. His heart's definitely gotten a lot weaker, and his lungs are almost completely filled with mucus. The surgery from last month couldn't help him a great enough deal, so it'll create even more damage. I'm sorry, Eiji."

Eiji nearly dropped his mug. That definitely was not the news he wanted to hear.

"Will you put him to rest for us?" That was Shorter's request from the talk they had long ago, and he was up for the task.

December 29.

When Eiji walked in to serve Ash his breakfast --- Japanese natto, from Eiji's mother's recipe --- he found Ash pacing around the room, humming the words to an unfamiliar song. He stopped when the door had opened, and sat right back down. "You're here?" he spoke, his ears turning a cute pink.

Eiji nodded and set down the tray of the bowl of natto, the chopsticks, cup of water, and pickled plums. Ash crawled closer to the side of the bed with curiosity.

"What... what is this?" as soon as Ash inched a bit closer, he held his nose and grimaced at the sudden wave of stench. "Why does it smell like that?"

"It's natto! It's really good for you. Natto is a traditional Japanese breakfast that I ate everyday when I was in Japan. It's healthy, so why don't you try some?"

"Are you sure it doesn't smell the way it tastes?"

"I'm sure. Just try a tiny bit. If you don't like it, I'll eat it and give you that basic, standard American breakfast you eat everyday."

"Bacon and scrambled eggs may be basic, but it tastes fantastic."

"Too greasy," Eiji whined, and set up the desk for Ash so that he could eat.

He couldn't use the chopsticks, so Eiji had to fetch a spoon for him, and the moment the fermented soybeans went into his mouth, Ash chewed it slower and slower by the second. "Wow," he said with his mouth full, "it's sooooo delicious."

"Really?" Eiji exclaimed hopefully, but then realized. "Oh."

Ash finished what was in his mouth and set the bowl back on the nightstand. "Sorry, I guess natto isn't just for me lolz," he said, and then gasped. "Fuck! Did I give it to you?"

Eiji raised an eyebrow as he dug into his own bowl of natto. "What?"

Ash didn't answer, but got up quickly (low iron deficiency caused him to wobble a bit) and reached into his bag that Eiji thought he hadn't touched since the day he arrived into his hospital, and handed him a box.

The box had a camera on it, the camera Eiji had been complaining he wanted so bad to Sing over the phone:

"The Nikon D3500!" Eiji yelled, and Ash slapped his thigh to shut him up, but of course, he didn't. "How'd you know I wanted this so bad?" he continued gasping in a loud voice. "I'm on a budget so I couldn't get this... did you listen to me talking to Sing?"

"Keep your voice down!" Ash hissed, but then responded in a much lighter tone, "yeah, your voice is super loud, especially when you talk on the phone. I could probably hear you from your dorm, you know?" He crossed his arms and smirked confidently. "I guess I'm just that amazing."

Eiji looked at him with a huge smile, desperately resisting to hug the life out of him, but thanking him with his eyes. "Where did you get all that money?"

"You think I'm flat broke or something? I'm rich as hell. Rich. R-I-C-H. Rich."

"For real?"

"Nah man, I'm joking. I robbed my sugar daddy."

Eiji hadn't learned what that term meant. "A what?"

"You... don't know what that is, do you?" Ash chuckled, "well, it's best if you stay this way, anyway. Just think of it as, I robbed the guy that I absolutely hate."

"You robbed someone?" Eiji whispered in shock. "What?"

Ash kept laughing, leaving the boy confused over these new words he was learning. God, he was far from fluent in English slang, that's for sure.

* * *

"What the actual fuck are you _wearing_?"

It was already morning of New Year's Eve, and Eiji had come later than Ash had expected. Usually, he'd arrive at around 7 AM, which was when Ash normally woke up, but he came at around 10 because he'd gone shopping for his new snazzy outfit and accessories at this American store called Party Cities.

He'd bought a shit ton of stuff: a 20XX headband with two stars on springs, a party hat that said _Happy New Year_ , a lame shirt that said _New Year, New Me!_ , LED slotted sunglasses, a kazoo, and LED sneakers. "What? I'm getting in the.... umm.. the mood!" he responded, and blew on the kazoo.

Ash raised both his eyebrows unamused. "Nice," he commented. "If you have enough money to buy all this shit even while you're on a budget, you must have enough to buy your own camera, no?"

"I'm going to be staying here for another 3 days, Ash. I can't waste $500 on a camera. My budget is $1,200 and I've already used up $800! Speaking of which, why don't we take a picture?"

"On your new camera or your phone?"

"Why not both?"

For the next few hours, they took pictures together, with Eiji exchanging accessories with Ash for each selfie to make him look more "vibrant," as Eiji explained it. Soon enough, though, both of them really got into the mood, and even started making funky poses together. And by the time they'd finished, it was already dinnertime.

4 hours.

Ash took his first bite of his spaghetti and looked at Eiji, who was busy cleaning the shelves. "Why don't you eat some spaghetti?" he asked, and Eiji shook his head.

"I'm just going to eat a bento box," he replied. "You eat your own dinner, got it?"

"You should try some spaghetti. I've always seen you eat Japanese foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Have you ever even tried the classic American breakfast?"

Eiji took out his chopsticks from his lunchbox and ate a bite of spaghetti without another word, Ash looking at him in disgust for using chopsticks while eating pasta. Eiji nodded and let out a loud "Mmmm!" before he took another bite and wiped his mouth with a tissue. "This is what spaghetti tastes like?"

"You're telling me you've never eaten spaghetti?" Ash cried.

"Yeah," Eiji smiled. "I like trying new things with you.

"Get out."

After having a hearty dinner by getting his own plate of spaghetti offered from the cafeteria and taking care of the other patients for the next couple hours, he was almost late to New Year's --- it was 11:57 --- and rushed back to Ash's room after changing into his fancy New Year's outfit again, before realizing maybe he'll just stick with his casual clothes instead. There goes the $40 he spent. He got a text from his family saying "happy new year," as they knew it was almost new year's in America. He sent a text back, "happy new year," but in English, with a smile.

He returned to Ash's room to find Ash sleeping, the TV blaring and waiting for the ball to drop, the countdown --- 2 minutes and 30 more seconds --- in the top right hand corner.

"Ash?"

Ash didn't respond, but Eiji waited. He slowly turned his head back to Eiji and stretched his neck. "Is it almost here?" he asked, looking at the TV, and his eyes opened immediately. "Damn, just in time." He quickly hid the card under his blanket, thinking that Eiji didn't notice.

As they silently and impatiently waited for the clock to hit 12, Ash coughed and spoke hoarsely.

"You're a good guy, Eiji."

Eiji's ears twitched at the sound of those words.

"I used to think you were annoying when we saw each other at the hospital entrance, but I guess you're not, after all." Maybe I shouldn't have judged too quickly."

For some reason, Eiji felt the tears coming, as the countdown soon reached 30 seconds.

"Ash," he said before Ash could even continue, "don't waste your energy on me. It's alright."

"Eiji."

"I like you, too. You're a really nice person, and I was never scared of you. You're nice, and I guess it's kind of weird that you're afraid of pumpkins, but I also find that super funny. Hanging out with you is not boring and I like it. A lot." He swallowed as he watched the ball hit 15 seconds. "I liked... learning new things with you. And teaching you Japanese."

10.

"I want to take you to Japan."

9.

"You could meet my parents..."

8.

"And have fun..."

7.

"Ash?" Eiji turned around to look at him, and saw Ash's sullen face resting his eyes, and his breathing slowing as he fell asleep.

6.

"Ash?" Eiji got him, preparing himself to call the other doctors and nurses. "Answer me."

5.

"Ash..."

4.

He immediately started performing CPR, pumping his hands against Ash's chest, and reluctantly blowing air into his lungs.

3.

"Ash!"

2.

"Ash!"

1.

His despaired cries were heard throughout the hospital, and light came in through behind him when the other professors opened the door. Eiji tried to stop the tears from falling as he tried to bring Ash back, but Max put his hand on Eiji's shoulder and whispered three words that caused Eiji to stop right away.

"Let him rest."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Eiji," his professor had said to him the next day. "I'm truly sorry."

Eiji shook his head without a word, and his professor left him to mourn.

He was staring at the floor when two pairs of black Converse sneakers appeared in front of him. "Hey."

He didn't dare look up.

"Eiji, look at me," the voice cooed. "I know."

He looked up.

Shorter was standing there, eyebrows narrowed and sunglasses covering his eyes --- but Eiji knew that Shorter had been crying as well, judging from his puffy cheeks and tear-stained face.

"It's not your fault, Eiji," he said as his voice cracked. "You did everything you could. You're going back to Japan in an hour, right? Do you want to take Ash's stuff with you?"

The question shocked Eiji so much that he stood up and faced Shorter soberly. "Are you kidding?" he said back. "Shouldn't you guys take it? He was your leader."

Shorter let out a hearty laugh despite the tears that Eiji had seen when his sunglasses slid down. "He meant a lot to us," he replied, "but he meant more to you. Plus, we don't mind. We've already got his model pictures hanging on our walls."

"Are you sure?" Eiji asked again, and Shorter nodded.

"I'll see you next time. Let's keep in touch, okay?" He waved his phone to show Eiji's contact.

An hour.

Eiji went around the hospital, saying goodbye to all the doctors, staff, professors, and even his roommate. They all exchanged hugs and handshakes, before he was picked up by some of Ash's gang members, Bones and Kong, who also had a puffy face, most likely from crying.

Neither of them talked on the way to the airport. It was silent, and the only sound they could hear was the radio station playing some jazz that, from Eiji's inference, Ash would not like.

They reached the airport, and before Eiji could thank them for the ride and say goodbye, Kong stared right at Eiji.

"Thanks for taking care of Ash," he spoke with a smile. "We appreciate it. See you again."

* * *

That night, when Eiji had fallen asleep the moment he got into bed, he had a dream.

He was in the fields, with nothing around him nor nothing in the distance aside from one huge oak tree in the middle. The sun was up high in the sky, shining down on everything, lighting everything up as Eiji walked around. It was peaceful. No sounds to disturb him, just nature surrounding him everywhere.

And there he was.

He wasn't there before, but the moment Eiji turned back around, he was standing there.

Eiji wanted to call out for him, but didn't, seeing that he looked so relaxed and was enjoying the soft breeze. His hair was flying around and he looked healthy. He looked happy, calm, and what Eiji kept thinking: healthy.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes, and looked at Eiji across the field, then waved at him and started to run over.

"Don't come over here," Eiji cried. "You'll start coughing again." He couldn't say anything more once Ash had come up to him, and he was weak.

He felt his knees giving out when Ash wrapped his large arms around Eiji, swaying with the breeze, listening to birds chirping overhead. They stayed like that for a while, no words exchanged, until Ash stopped and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Ash stared at Eiji longingly and smiled.

"My soul is always with you."

**Author's Note:**

> hey! I'm not a professional around the medical field, so please let me know if I have said anything mildly incorrect. It'll be a huge help! :)  
> I also hope that you've enjoyed it... this took me a while and I'm not too confident in my first work, but I'd appreciate the support.  
> Feel free to add any suggestions on what to write next time!  
> Stay safe!
> 
> my instagram: nortbells  
> twitter: rantarostoenail


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